I commented on another post and I thought I would just add it here to make another point.In short, Josh believes that self-deprecating mentality leads to arrogance.
I responded by asking if he has any evidence of that bare assertion at all.
He did bring up an excellent subject that I would like to drive home though. I will go on tangents but I will get to point soon.
There is a movement that is called the "self esteem movement" (just Google it) and it is riddled throughout our school systems and secular teachings.
As an example, I don't know if you have ever watched American Idol. You see these kids "writing off" and cussing at Simon who honestly told them they are horrible, which was the truth. They get all huffy and go back to their moms who say "it's OK baby, you are the best" and they storm off cussing profanity to the camera and Simon.
It was Scott Peterson's mom Jackie who raised him in a way to let him think that he could do no wrong and you obviously see how destructive that was. She was very open about it also. Jackie Peterson held Scott up as her 'golden boy' that could do no wrong. She didn't show love towards the boy. If he did something wrong she covered it up for him instead of reprimanding him. She raised him to have "high self esteem"
Matthew 22:39, Leviticus 19:17-18 tells us how to treat people. It takes far more love to confront then to ignore the situation, perfect love is a constant confronter. Coddling someone, like Jackie did, is not love at all. I believe God holds us accountable to our actions as it states in Ezekiel 3:20.
"In contrast to a fairly common assumption among psychologists and psychiatrists, we have found no indicators that the aggressive bullies are anxious and insecure under a tough surface" (source)
"From early on, the bully can do whatever he wants without clear consequences and discipline." (source)
Today parents are raising pure monsters and our society is paying the price for it.
Kids need discipline and guidance in truth. Not some inflated self esteem that goes unchecked.
I am sure you have heard the term inflated ego. Swollen heads are what makes people fall hard after they have been popped by life's challenges. To be humble is a very good thing and it will keep you grounded in life, so know thyself (Proverbs 27:1, James 4:10, 1 Peter 5:6), and stay on the ground.
bit.ly/SelfEsteem
Is there anyone more more conceited than someone who believes that the entire great big universe was made just for them? That the (for the sake of argument) creator of that universe specially created them? That a man who died nearly two thousand years ago died for them; lovesthem; answers their prayers?
ReplyDeleteDan,
ReplyDeleteAs per ususal, you've managed to try to link some disparate ideas to prove your point, some that I do agree with, and as time allows I may comment some more.
"If he did something wrong she covered it up for him instead of reprimanding him. She raised him to have "high self esteem."
No she did not, and covering up for a kid lowers self esteem.
The parents main job is to teach personal responsibility, and as that is developed, self esteem follows.
You try to paint self esteem as "bad." It is not.
Your comment and your source to bullying is out in left field.
The propensity for bullying can be inherited and is always exacerbated by poor parenting/ environment.
My source is my oldest daughter who holds a degree in Human Development and has worked in her field for 13 years, and to my own experience of having raised five productive kids and involeved in many youth activities including beng a Boy Scout Leader for fourteen years.
I will grant you that there have been misguided attempts to shelter some kids from reality so as not to make them feel like outcasts, and some of the mehods were counterproductive, but that tide has turned to a degree and we don't see it in schools in our area.
The acceptance of personal responsibility is the bed rock to good self esteem and the key to productive viable adults.
Froggie,
ReplyDelete>>The acceptance of personal responsibility is the bed rock to good self esteem and the key to productive viable adults.
Wow, we agree then. (Romans 3:19, 1 Timothy 1:9-10, Romans 7:7-8)
>>No she did not, and covering up for a kid lowers [sic] self esteem.
I guess you are ignoring all the studies and evidence that shows that bullies have high self esteem then. Typical evolutionist. XD
I certainly am not saying anything personal here towards you but the ones you have to watch out for, as parents, are the people that get involved in many youth activities, including Boy Scout Leaders, Teachers, and Coaches. Michael Jackson just "loved " those children. People interested in my kids, besides me, is suspect right off the bat.
BTW, as a side note for my own curiosity, for all your children accomplishments how many out of the 5 became a Christian?
Dan,
ReplyDelete"I certainly am not saying anything personal here towards you but the ones you have to watch out for, as parents, are the people that get involved in many youth activities, including Boy Scout Leaders, Teachers, and Coaches. Michael Jackson just "loved " those children. People interested in my kids, besides me, is suspect right off the bat."
You might have a point there, especially for crtain men who are out of place. In most cases. like my own, with five kids, the best way to make sure they got the most out of their activities was to be part of them, both boys and girls.
Even yesterday, three of my son's friends stopped by to see me and reminisce. It happens quite a bit around here over the summer and during their college breaks.
Also, it will be a while until I forget that snide and underhanded remark that you used specifically in this instance for a reason.
It was low and underhanded, but expected.
There are millions of kids in this country that benefit greatly from adult leaders and thousands of great adult leaders volunteering their time to see this happen.
If you look at the news I'd say it's the religious leaders from all cults that you have to watch out for.
By the way, any respectable organizaion will have mandates and rules whereby children are never alone with adults unlike religious leaders.
The leaders that I was involved with were very concious about making sure that there were not even the impression or the opportunity for improprieties. That is called professional accountability. Adults that have an agenda are relatively easy to smoke out if you are trained and know what you are doing.
"BTW, as a side note for my own curiosity, for all your children accomplishments how many out of the 5 became a Christian?"
Two are churchgoing with their spouses and families.
Froggie,
ReplyDeletehow many out of the 5 became a Christian?
>>Two are churchgoing with their spouses and families.
So, should I decipher that answer with the number zero?
Wait, those last verses: James 4:10, 1 Peter 5:6?
ReplyDeleteHumble yourself before the lord so that he'll exalt you later?
How in hell is that humble? You're doing it for future gain according to those.
Dan,
ReplyDelete"So, should I decipher that answer with the number zero?"
You can "decipher" it in any manner you care to.
Respect for each others personal choices is part of the glue that holds us all together as a family.
Froggie,
ReplyDeleteLike Rush says "if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice."
My point is that even though you view your kids as successful you are merely comparing them to your own subjective standards, not God's.
Now if, big IF, God does indeed exist I am sure you understand that you raised your children incorrectly and doomed them to failure and hell.
This point is exactly what Ezekiel 3:20 means! God is going to hold you accountable for raising your kids in contrast and against God.
My real point is, who cares how your kids turned out, if they will just end up in hell? Your efforts were in complete vain.
The great news is that is is not too late. They will listen to you if you ever understand God's will. I hope God changes your heart so generations will not be destroyed. Stubbornness and resistance will not lead to wisdom. Fear in the Lord will. Repent.
"Now if, big IF, God does indeed exist I am sure you understand that you raised your children incorrectly and doomed them to failure and hell."
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, if your god does indeed exist, but is not as he says, rather a sadistic monster who happily only has power over those who submitted to him in life, you are the one who has doomed his children. Given your god's non-involvement in today's world, that seems a more likely possibility than the one you postulate.
"I hope God changes your heart so generations will not be destroyed."
If -- a very big IF -- your god exists and is as you postulate, he clearly desires to send people to hell. He only allows a minute portion of humanity into heaven to say "see, this was possible." But let's not forget. Under that assumption, your god hardens hearts so that people cannot avoid hell.
Dan,
ReplyDelete"Now if, big IF, God does indeed exist I am sure you understand that you raised your children incorrectly and doomed them to failure and hell."
You are dooming some of your kids to hell unless you kill them before they sin. ;)
We raised our kids to consider all manners of thinking. They all had bibles along with other materials too many to mention.
But, you will have to agree that the bible well supports the idea that it does not matter how a person is raised if they are "called," etc.
The manner in which you raise your kids is no guarantee whatsoever if they will become the same brand of Christian as you, or any brand of Christianity whatsoever.
Your assesment is absurd.
For fuck's sake, I demand that you do not quote Neil Peart.
ReplyDeleteDan,
ReplyDeleteI must presume from your comment that any kid that is raised outside the confines of a home the way you manage it is destined to hell?
I wish for one time in your life you would actually answer a question with a valid answer other than the obfuscational and avoidances that you employ to deflect reason.
You are a joke. A fucking joke.
And you beat your kids and can't see how it is counterproductive.
this might be off topic but it still is relevant to self esteem in a way i noticed your against public schools teaching kids about sex now while i do feel you may have a point i mean that should be the parents job i mean over here were taught about our bodies and whatnot by year 5 thats 10 years old here and then taught sex ed during yr 8 9 as well as healthy lifestyles choices and about our bodies thats around 13 to 14 dont know about americans HOWEVER i do feel if you teach a child to embrace the way they look their own body and the way that god made them (ie they might be a little bit chubby or feel that they may feel they are ugly compared to others) and teach them that it is ok not to look like the images in the mags tv ect then mayb you can increase self esteem with the child and therefore decrease the possibility of them developing bulimia and or annerexia which destroys thier bodies which is a sin by your books right i mean our body is christs temple and all that
ReplyDeletedo you feel that the public schools should teach that to children as it does sort of creep into the area of sexuality at some points
your thoughts?