Ray Comfort has once again simply and eloquently pegged and nailed the professing atheist. I need to just post it in it's entirety. Thanks Ray, you are hilarious! Glory to Jesus for our friend Ray. I sure do love that man:
If you are a beginner atheist, there's a belief system you should embrace and a language you should learn, or you will find yourself in trouble. Here are ten suggestions for the novice:
1. Whenever you are presented with credible evidence for God's existence, call it a "straw man argument," or "circular reasoning." If something is quoted from somewhere, label it "quote mining."
2. When a Christian says that creation proves that there is a Creator, dismiss such common sense by saying "That's just the old watchmaker argument."
3. When you hear that you have everything to gain and nothing to lose (the pleasures of Heaven, and the endurance of Hell) by obeying the Gospel, say "That's just the old 'Pascal wager.'"
4. You can also deal with the "whoever looks on a woman to lust for her, has committed adultery with her already in his heart," by saying that there is no evidence that Jesus existed. None.
5. Believe that the Bible is full of mistakes, and actually says things like the world is flat. Do not read it for yourself. That is a big mistake. Instead, read, believe, and imitate Richard Dawkins. Learn and practice the use of big words. "Megalo-maniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully" is a good phrase to learn.
6. Say that you were once a genuine Christian, and that you found it to be false. (The cool thing about being an atheist is that you can lie through your teeth, because you believe that are no moral absolutes.) Additionally, if a Christian points out that this is impossible (simply due to the very definition of Christianity as one who knows the Lord), just reply "That's the 'no true Scotsman fallacy.'" PLEASE NOTE: It cannot be overly emphasized how learning and using these little phrases can help you feel secure in dismissing common sense.
7. Believe that nothing is 100% certain, except the theory of Darwinian evolution. Do not question it. Believe with all of your heart that there is credible scientific evidence for species-to-species transitional forms. When you make any argument, pat yourself on the back by concluding with "Man, are you busted!" That will make you feel good about yourself.
8. Deal with the threat of eternal punishment by saying that you don't believe in the existence of Hell. Then convince yourself that because you don't believe in something, it therefore doesn't exist. Don't follow that logic onto a railway line and an oncoming train.
9. Blame Christianity for the atrocities of the Roman Catholic church--when it tortured Christians through the Spanish Inquisition, imprisoned Galileo for his beliefs, or when it murdered Moslems in the Crusades.
10. Finally, keep in fellowship with other like-minded atheists who believe as you believe, and encourage each other in your beliefs. Build up your faith. Never doubt for a moment. Remember, the key to atheism is to be unreasonable. Fall back on that when you feel threatened. Think shallow, and keep telling yourself that you are intelligent. Remember, an atheist is someone who pretends there is no God. (Atheist Central)
I added a couple of more that seems to ring true.
ReplyDeleteDan:
ReplyDeleteI put up a post on how to be a christian leader. I got the idea from Ray's "starter kit." You might find it rather interesting.
Off-topic:
ReplyDeleteRay, that guy you appear to worship (yes, yes I know you will say you only worship your god; I am familiar with the game) has been caught in a lie again. Details can be found at the retractors under the post titled "????????" There was also a comment detailing the lie on Ray's own blog; but I don't know how long it will be before he deletes it.
I added yet another one HERE
ReplyDeleteToo bad whenever you Christians actually debate us, you never have any substance. I also love how these arguments are strawmen of many of our actual arguments. Oh, and Dan, I realize that "strawman" is part of Ray's nonsense, but I can demonstrate this. Look at #2 for instance. "creation proves a creator" begs the question, defies what is now "common sense" and the "old watchmaker argument" is still wrong. If being an atheist means using common sense and reason; guilty as charged. I suppose this means that Christians don't use common sense...such as the belief that a man can rise after being dead for three days, and some christians believe bread and wine can become flesh and blood while remaining bread and wine...or reason. We know you don't use reason because...well, you are still a Christian.
ReplyDeleteOoohh. Sweeping generalisations. What fun!
ReplyDeleteRay wrote:
"Whenever you are presented with credible evidence for God's existence, call it a "straw man argument,"
Pppphhsshshhh!!! [Struggles to keep from laughing].
A strawman argument is "misrepresenting your opponents position". An argument can only ever be called strawman when it is an attack (or challenge :) on the opponents position.
The very definition of a strawman argument precludes it being called against evidence for God existance!
Oh man, I'm going to be giggling for hours after that.
Ray wrote:
"or "circular reasoning.""
OK, this is a bit more decent.
Let's put it this way: Any argument which uses the Bible to support the assertions of the Bible counts as circular reasoning.
Atheists seem to throw claims of CR around a lot because so many creationists are forced to fall back on their faith when their logic is shown to be in error.
Ray wrote:
"If something is quoted from somewhere, label it "quote mining.""
Oh dear.
Accusations of quote mining are thrown about when someone quotes a person of authority out of context. This happens so often it's no longer funny, even to me.
Ray wrote:
"When a Christian says that creation proves that there is a Creator, dismiss such common sense by saying "That's just the old watchmaker argument.""
Good ol' Paley. Did you know that Paley's articles were one of the major sources of inspiration for Charles Darwin when he was young?
To phrase Ray's statement a little more accurately:
2) "When a Christian says that the inticate detail and complexity of nature proves that there is a Creator, and provides absolutely no evidence that intricate detail and complexity can only form via intelligent creation, dismiss his unfounded assersion by saying "That's just the old watchmaker argument.""
Ray wrote:
"3. When you hear that you have everything to gain and nothing to lose (the pleasures of Heaven, and the endurance of Hell) by obeying the Gospel, say "That's just the old 'Pascal wager.'""
Err... yes, it is. Pascals wager exactly. Glad to see Ray got one right.
Of course, the atheist would do better to explain why Pascals wager is useless as well.
Ray wrote:
"4. You can also deal with the "whoever looks on a woman to lust for her, has committed adultery with her already in his heart," by saying that there is no evidence that Jesus existed. None."
I don't really know what the two have to do with each other, but many atheists believe that Jesus did exist. I'll admit, the evidence for Jesus isn't as strong as I was lead to believe as I was growing up, but I still believe he existed.
As for the adultery, this is one of those generic laws that is impossible not to break. As such, my conscience is clean: lust is a natural human emotion, and just because I have it doesn't mean I act on it.
"5. Believe that the Bible is full of mistakes, and actually says things like the world is flat. Do not read it for yourself. That is a big mistake."
Here's where I admit I've only really read Genesis right through. I always meant to read the rest, but it's just so darn boring.
So I avoid commenting on mistakes and contradictions within the text itself: I'm more concerned with the contradictions with nature.
Ray wrote:
"Instead, read, believe, and imitate Richard Dawkins."
I actually don't like Dawkins, or the other anti-theists. They might be brilliant scientists, but they really need to learn some tact.
In general I agree with their sentiments, but they're acting like fundumentalists, and I don't approve of fundumentalists no matter whose side they're on.
Ray wrote:
"Learn and practice the use of big words."
Mr Comfort is shrewdly insinuating that Atheistic-Agnostic tendancies in sapiens of the genus homo are in one way or another implicated in the useage of pretentious, and possibly even ostentatious intellectual language designed to intimidate those individuals possesing lesser higher-level faculties!
How dare he!
Ray wrote:
"6. Say that you were once a genuine Christian, and that you found it to be false. (The cool thing about being an atheist is that you can lie through your teeth, because you believe that are no moral absolutes.)"
Oh dear. Ray's going downhill (and here I was thinking he'd already reached the bottom). I was never a genuine christian, and I have difficulty lying convincingly. Not because of any "moral absolutes", but because it's just a whole heap easier in the long run to tell the truth.
Ray wrote:
"Additionally, if a Christian points out that this is impossible (simply due to the very definition of Christianity as one who knows the Lord), just reply "That's the 'no true Scotsman fallacy.'""
Awsome! Ray got another one right!
The no true Scotsman fallacy is a get-out-of-jail-free card for any belief system: they can claim that one of their members would never do x, and then when member y does x they can claim that y wasn't a 'true' member by simple virtue of the fact that they did x.
If a Moslim told you that no Moslim would ever kill another human being (simply due to the very definition of Muslim as one who knows Allah), would you feel any different?
Ray wrote:
"7. Believe that nothing is 100% certain, except the theory of Darwinian evolution."
*blink*
...
*Delayed Reaction*
And I - hee hee - thought he was actually - pfff - being serious! That was even funnier than the strawman thing!
LMAO
Ray wrote:
"Do not question it."
First rule of the scientist: question everything.
Ray wrote:
"8. Deal with the threat of eternal punishment by saying that you don't believe in the existence of Hell. Then convince yourself that because you don't believe in something, it therefore doesn't exist."
Errr... isn't "convincing yourself that something doesn't exist" and "not believing in it" sorta kinda the same thing?
I should read more by Mr Comfort. I need more comedy in my life.
Ray wrote:
"9. Blame Christianity for the atrocities of the Roman Catholic church--when it tortured Christians through the Spanish Inquisition, imprisoned Galileo for his beliefs, or when it murdered Moslems in the Crusades."
Todays Sesame Street was brought to you by: the number 6! (see above)
I just realised, if I keep this up, I'm going to end up driven permanently insane by sheer levels of sarcasm. Lets just hope Ray finishes it well.
Ray wrote:
"10. Finally, keep in fellowship with other like-minded atheists who believe as you believe, and encourage each other in your beliefs. Build up your faith. Never doubt for a moment. Remember, the key to atheism is to be unreasonable. Fall back on that when you feel threatened. Think shallow, and keep telling yourself that you are intelligent. Remember, an atheist is someone who pretends there is no God."
*snap*
Funny man Quasar's wit strikes again, ouch
ReplyDeleteDon't think I'm not serious, though. I mean every word.
ReplyDeleteMaybe not the sound effects...
On a more serious note (or not?): Dan continued the list in a few comments he linked to.
Dan wrote:
11. Go to a website that obviously is against a Creator like talk origins for all your scientific needs
Good addition! Unlike creationist sources, the authors of TO reference and link to peer reviewed scientific papers for all their claims, and are mostly accredited experts in the field of biology. The site is also well laid out and easy to access.
Dan wrote:
12. Cuss at and say horrible things about Ray and Kirk, it's a prerequisite to the faith of atheism. Like scientists to Creation you will be shunned in the atheistic community for not berating both Ray and Kirk.
Well, I'm not sure this is strictly necessary... but it sure is fun! Plus the scientific ignorance both of them continually display makes them obvious targets!
Dan wrote:
"27. Many atheists will support abortion while at the same time, oppose capital punishment. (You might want to do the same)"
Nah, I think I'll stick with my current position: my atheism has nothing to do with my moral and ethical opinions. These opinions are a result from how I grew up, from logical reasoned deduction and from an observant mind.
Well, OK, if I wasn't an atheist my morals might be based on a holy text. But my atheism doesn't affect my morals directly. :)